kanina, i was able to talk to a very close friend of mine, lets just say that she's like my second mom na..hindi ko siya nakausap for the whole summer and for the first week of school so im glad that I was able to be with her for atleast 45mins to just share things and stories with each other..the whole time that we're together, I know that inside of me, I'm happy for the ONLY reason that i'm with her and that I have her to be there for me..not considering the many problems I have..when were talking and all in that room, I concentrated on every detail that we were talking about..Not minding anything outside that room..it was that time that I was able to forget all of my problems, all of my worries and all other concerns that I have..I felt so relaxed just listening to her and sharing my experiences with her..but in the middle of that happy moment, of that time that I felt that I was problem free, the time that I tried to forget everything, she suddenly asked me if I have any problems..I felt bad thinking that I really have lots of problems but of course I tried my best to hide it for the sake of saving that happy moment..So I said that I'm ok, that I dont have any problems..so we just continued the talk, the laughs and the sharing of memories..we even had 'drama' coz she was thinking that I'm gonna leave her na, which is not true..I'm gonna graduate na kasi so she said that I'm gonna be busy na daw with my college life..oh well, so we cried--yeah, we cried but we laughed and smiled ALOT!
after 45mins. she told me that she's going na coz she's going to do a lot of stuff pa sa we said goodbye na to each other, hugged each other and there..she told me na she's just there for me no matter what and that she loves me as her own..
I left that room..went back to real life..I tried to keep myself happy but I cant help it..naisip ko nanaman lahat..I'm now thinking if I deserve the happiness I had awyl ago coz I think that I dont..I LIED TO HER!! and its just not right! its unfair for her, i was wrong, im damn bad! hindi ko sinabi sa kanya ung totoo kong situation..I hate this..I just hope that she'll understand..but im really guilty sa ginawa ko..IM SORRY..I just dont want to be a burden for her..that's all..
DAMN LIFE! I want to recover from all of these soon..
am i really happy? OFCOURSE NOT! =|
kaya pala ang saya mu. :D
ReplyDeleteako emo. :(
hay nako. pakasaya na nga tayo! :P
onga no.. ang eemo natin. okay lang yun tin.. you lied for a reason. you just didnt want to ruin the moment. she should understand that you lied, not because you didnt trust her or whatever, but because you dont want her to worry or whatever din haha
ReplyDeletebasta, dont think you're not happy. coz you really wont be if you do. even with your problems in life, take some time to enjoy life.. have fun! yun. :) shux, i should also follow this hahaha
dito lang me, para sayo haha if you need anything, lapitan mo ako ha? kahit marinig ko pa yung crying voice mo, wala akong paki! haha basta, dito lang ako lagi..
thanks kreni and thanks din sa comment ni jenny..haha..onga, kailangan mo rin i-follow tong advice mo sa akin..anyway, thanks alot for always being there for me..love yah girls..=)
ReplyDeleteahahaha kala ko sabi ni karen, "DITO NA ME" =))
ReplyDeleteyun pala, dito lang me. =))
ok labo ko :))